College PB & J

So let's start things off right with a post about sandwiches. I'm very peculiar about sandwiches. I don't like wheat bread, I don't like rye bread, and I prefer my bread usually toasted when possible. However the classic peanut butter and jelly combination on a nice white bread is a good quick meal once in a while. While in college though, you can't buy bread. Well, I mean you can buy bread, it's just since if you're living on campus you most likely have a meal plan which means you most likely won't eat food that you've purchased that sits in your room unless you're direly hungry.

This creates a problem. Bread has a shelf life of about a week. Or maybe more, I don't really know I'm not a breadologist. That being said, you're probably not going to eat about on average the 10 sandwiches a standard loaf makes in a week. And as far as I know, most stores don't sell you a couple of slices of bread when you need it, so you probably won't have eaten the loaf by the time it goes bad. The solution? Throw that shit in the freezer.

This here would be the bread defrosting. On top of my fridgeezer. On top of my boxes of cookies. Next to the plastic fridge parts that were unnecessary. Near my ugly flamboyant plastic cups and bowls. And near my Rorschach mint condition action figure. Anyway this is also a a problem of bread. If you freeze it, you've got to decide you want a sandwich about an hour before you want to eat it unless you like cold and wet bread. But at the same time it never goes bad. And by never I mean it takes about 4-6 months for it to go bad. Which is a much more reasonable 10 sandwich time.

My point? Fuck cancer. Fuck depleting gas sources. Fuck global warming. What we really need to be spending our time, money and effort on is bread. Not making it more delicious, its already as okay tasting enough as it is; but we do need to find a way to make it last longer without being cold. Maybe we could use some sort of stem cell research on bread to make it's shelf life double? I don't know, like I said, I'm not a breadologist.