Kanye West

Okay, I start a blog, of course I have to talk about the most Tweet'd/YouTube'd/anything'd thing right now. Before I start of I have to say: people, really, it's the VMAs. And really; who gives a fuck about the VMAs? Well anyway, for those of you who have been living under a rock for the past 24 hours (i.e. people who have lives), Kanye stormed onto the stage during Taylor Swifts acceptance speech for Best Female Video or something of that nature, and he proclaims "Beyonce's video was one of the best of all time!" and he runs off and Taylor Swift looks all shocked as she is escorted off stage by MTV officials I am assuming.

First off I'm just going to come out and say it; Kanye was right. Beyonce should have won. Hell, MTV even confirmed this when they gave her "Video of the Year" which opens up the question as to how MTV calculates this stuff. But there's something everyone is forgetting. Kanye is not a douche by birth. He is a douche as the result of his environment. You see, it was MTV who made Kanye the way he is; back in 2004, when he lost Best New Artist to these guys:

That's right. He lost to Maroon 5. MAROON. FUCKING. FIVE. How could any human being take the spit in the eye that is "Hey you're good enough to be nominated, but you are not as good as Maroon 5". Seriously, the man is scarred. There's no reason for him to not act this way. Should he have got on stage and stolen Taylor's moment? No, of course not. Should he have lost to Maroon 5? No, no one deserves that. Not even Kanye.

Roll Bounce

Last night after I was sexilied (for those who don't know what this term means, it is the act of being kicked out of your room by your roommate while him/her has sex with another) and before I smoked various things out of a hookah, I was forced to spend a portion of my evening in my suite's common room. The things I had for entertainment were:

1. A Nintendo DS with my R4 flashcart.
2. One Black and Mild Wine Cigarillo.
3. A bag of Nacho Cheese Combos.
4. A TV with basic cable.

I went through the first three pretty quickly. Like I said in my previous post, my attention span for video games is pretty limited right now. Black and Mild's last me five minutes at most and I probably shouldn't be smoking them anyway. And I hadn't eaten since 7 and it was 11:30 at this point, so I punished the bag of Combo's. So that left me with TV. and Since it was 11:30, so much was on. I flipped channels and I came to VH1 which was playing a documentary on the N.W.A. (aka Niggaz With Attitude). I like street life in L.A. so I settled down and watched. However, I had tuned in near the end of it, and what came on next was a movie I hardly could believe existed: Roll Bounce.

Now instead of telling you about this movie, I'm go

ing to write my interpreted script for it. As with any script we need to set up some characters. First off we have the main guy, let's call him 'Bro'. Then we have 'Interesting Girl' and then 'Hot Girl'. Other than that I don't really

remember any of the characters nor do I think that they were important. But I digress.

Bro: Hey guys I love skatin' at the local rink the music is so fresh and its perfect

Bro's Friends: Yeah!

Bro: Too bad OUR skatin' rink is closing today

LATER

Bro: Hey Dad, I'm home!

Bro's Dad: DAMMIT SON YOU'RE LATE, YOU'RE MOM'S DEAD AND I'M TOO BLACK TOO TAKE CARE OF YOUR SISTER BY MYSELF AHHHH

Bro: But Dad, the rink closed today I had to be ther...

Bro's Dad: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Later

Bro: I've got a paper route to pay for things now, I don't really remember this plot point being mentioned but whatever.

Neighborhood Kids: GET THAT ASSHOLE WITH WATER BALLOONS

Bro: Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

Bro gets hit by water balloons which somehow leads to him meeting Interesting Girl

Interesting Girl: Hi, I can barley skate like you can, and I'm not hot, but I am interesting.

Bro: That's nice, me and my friend's are going to the skating rink across town

Interesting Girl: Can I go?

Bro: ehhh

LATER

Interesting Girl: This rink is cool and there's white people here!

Bro: This music sucks.

Interesting Girl: AINT U EVER HEARD OF THE BEEEEEEEEGEEEEEEEEEEEs

Bro: The what?

Local Skate Crew: You guys suck and are racial minorities watch us skate dance to Pat Benetar!

We are treated to a scene of Local Skate Crew dancing to Pat Benetar

Bro: Shit that was good but we're probably better, right friends?

SILENCE

Bro: Shit.

Hot Girl: Hi, this looks like a good time to make an appearance. I'm not interesting but I am hot.

Bro: Nice!

• At this point I stopped watching because I felt like I could predict the ending. I assumed he would see through Hot Girl's ploys and go with Interesting Girl. Well I came back an hour later to this.

Bro: We sure showed up the Local Skate Team!

Bro's Friends: Yeah!

Hot Girl: Let's make out!

Bro: Okay!

Interesting Girl: I'm going to make out with this character no one has noticed before!

AND THE WORLD REFUSED TO CHANGE.

Vidyas.

I hate reviewing things. Specifically games. Every time I decide its a good idea for me to do a review of a game for some media outlet, be in a website, YouTube video, paper publication, etc. I get caught on a video game reviewing niche. It usually involves me taking these steps:

1. Getting nearly every game that has come out in the past week
2. Attempting to play through all of them so I may write a review
3. Start off by writing a really good review
4. Make 3 or so really bad, uninteresting review.
5. Decide I hate video games and stop playing them for a month.

I repeat this cycle every few months, and its where most of my journalistic inspiration comes from. Anyway this time I've started with Guitar Hero 5 (I'll link you guys to that once I'm done and its uploaded), I want to do a review for Scribblenauts, Mario and Luigi RPG 3, DiRT 2, Wet, Halo ODST, Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2, and whatever other interesting looking box art comes into my view. This is all great except I probably won't finish any of those reviews. Hopefully the Guitar Hero 5 one since I promised I would and I'd feel like an ass if I didn't.

This post actually started as a post about the Beatles. Before that it was going to be about the Courtney Love vs Kurt Cobain's likeness issue. Now its about this. I hope you enjoy that. I'll try harder next time.

College PB & J

So let's start things off right with a post about sandwiches. I'm very peculiar about sandwiches. I don't like wheat bread, I don't like rye bread, and I prefer my bread usually toasted when possible. However the classic peanut butter and jelly combination on a nice white bread is a good quick meal once in a while. While in college though, you can't buy bread. Well, I mean you can buy bread, it's just since if you're living on campus you most likely have a meal plan which means you most likely won't eat food that you've purchased that sits in your room unless you're direly hungry.

This creates a problem. Bread has a shelf life of about a week. Or maybe more, I don't really know I'm not a breadologist. That being said, you're probably not going to eat about on average the 10 sandwiches a standard loaf makes in a week. And as far as I know, most stores don't sell you a couple of slices of bread when you need it, so you probably won't have eaten the loaf by the time it goes bad. The solution? Throw that shit in the freezer.

This here would be the bread defrosting. On top of my fridgeezer. On top of my boxes of cookies. Next to the plastic fridge parts that were unnecessary. Near my ugly flamboyant plastic cups and bowls. And near my Rorschach mint condition action figure. Anyway this is also a a problem of bread. If you freeze it, you've got to decide you want a sandwich about an hour before you want to eat it unless you like cold and wet bread. But at the same time it never goes bad. And by never I mean it takes about 4-6 months for it to go bad. Which is a much more reasonable 10 sandwich time.

My point? Fuck cancer. Fuck depleting gas sources. Fuck global warming. What we really need to be spending our time, money and effort on is bread. Not making it more delicious, its already as okay tasting enough as it is; but we do need to find a way to make it last longer without being cold. Maybe we could use some sort of stem cell research on bread to make it's shelf life double? I don't know, like I said, I'm not a breadologist.

Introduction

What's a blog without an introductory post? I have decided it is time for me to start another blog. Yes, another. I've made blogs before but they've all fallen to the depths of internet hell; in other words I forgot about them or was too lazy to ever update them or make them interesting. Will this one be any different? Maybe, this is only my first entry in hopefully a cornucopia of insights to my life and the things I like, the things that piss me off, and just the things I feel like posting on the internet.

So the next thing would be to tell you what the blog is about. Truth be told, I'm not really sure yet, and I'm not really sure I'll ever be sure. Mostly it will probably be a range of things all based on things that interest me or affect me emotionally. For example, I may make a post about my stance on religion, and the next day follow it up with a review for a indie folk britpop mashcore album. While this may be a mistake on my part because it my be limiting my audience and my blog's appeal (hell, I'm posting on blogspot, getting a blog off the ground here is almost as easy as sun cooking a turkey), hopefully my boring monotonous writing style will keep you interested.

And with that being said lets get to know me a little bit by making a list of all the things I should be doing right now instead of starting a blog, in order of importance relative to being successful in life:

1. Reading my psychology textbook and taking my online quiz.
2. Going to get the wet clothes out of the back of my car before they are ruined, and also check to make sure no one threw a brick through my windshield.
3. Eating. I tend to have a bad habit of forgetting to do this occasionally.
4. Playing The Beatles: Rock Band.
5. Finishing my review for Guitar Hero 5.
6. Pick up some trash and tidy up my dorm room.
7. Get a recommended 7-8 hours of sleep.

There's probably other things, but right now that's all I can think of. Well my mental capacity to continue writing about nothing is starting to wear thin, so I'll wrap this up in hopes of making entries that are relevant and contribute to our society later on down the road. So to answer some general questions that may still be in the void: Yes, I do like the Hold Steady and therefore I will reference their lyrics as often as possible, or in blog titles, or URLs. Yes, there may be some fucking curse words, it depends on the day and my mood. Yes, I'll change the layout, but right now it is what is, and in fact I haven't even looked at it yet. Yes, there may often times be pictures. Yes, I may often times whine about things that will make this seem like a vague diary entry. And yes, I do realize there is a great possibility that no one will care.